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A Shore at Sunset
Amelia Island, Florida
Early, you were a guide, a map,
a celestial ray in an ebony-clad sky,
a comforting companion
for this shape of clay,
like tender leafage - you, living waters,
watering the meandering veins of green -
with you, I felt at home, my friend you were
limb to limb, eye to eye -
a body that moved unmoving with delight
you not a seen, but unseen, with eyes,
appeared to us in disguise -
'us' for I was not alone, never, though hidden
to learn of you from you
I heard of you from others,
to know you beyond
letters and words, teachers and teaching,
I had to meet you like tongue meets honey -
nothing short of the tasting would suffice and satisfy
to feel you,
to long for you
in our absence - for absence we shared -
in the ache we deepened
until the clouds parted
and the rose opened, unfurling petals,
drawn by light to light
verdant bough,
a haven for a bird learning to fly
a teacher of wings and winds
a greening garden for repose
a sun and shade for the bud
not ready to open fully, but for the sunlight
yearned and fled -
for contrary currents blew about and inside -
do they ever cease but for a short time
you who move over moment to moment,
untouched, body tenderly touching every fleshly thing
without making a sound, like clouds
sailing through the expanse or
stream over smooth rock or
smile upon happy face -
river waters flowing in quiet night
the dawn we are drawn to, you,
our mute longing prayer
and ardent passion for
the closeness we long for and fear,
move to and away from
until we settle there
only with you, love -
which is I in you and you in me -
can I receive the ecstasy -
self coming out of myself -
only one I, you and I, to remain
for only we are -
we are everyone's we are
and i loved you, as best I knew
and still do,
and you loved me, perfectly
I recall the day
wondering alone in the woods,
discovering the solitary small pond
all quiet, all detached, a paradise
unvisited, now found,
calm and spaciousness arose deeply within me,
over me, and you showed yourself
long before I knew such deep feeling
is you and what you speak,
for this simple sign did tune us together
heart with heart
by the mere looking -
bliss - tranquil delight
you did not speak in words, in the past years -
our silence declared,
stillness pulling, gently, into a mute embrace,
my voice and will and pain stilled silently,
the lonely I was,
I was alone no more,
a dark friend had come to stay -
the one who had never left, nor I -
leaving you, I left with you,
returning to you, I returned with you
no word to say, no voice to hear, no visage to see,
no faraway place to go - here -
relief! relief!
I had gone to a church,
told you were there -
blessed blessedness
of forest, city, ocean,
north, east, west, south ...
you of no language speak all languages
- without saying a word -
you of no land are a citizen of everywhere
- homeless you among the homeless -
you healer of seen and unseen within,
peace, refuge, destiny of unsettled yearnings,
the ending of empty enthusiasms -
hungry ghosts have fled,
angels have silenced their singing
with a touch of your sacred flesh
like to hand in hand, lips to lips -
more than happiness -
joy!
you bough sape ripe and,
I was ripe for you,
slept beneath your lit shade,
swaying in you its breeze, its limbs,
for full light was too much to bear - and still is -
now, where is the god I knew
that led me to you, you to yourself -
god beyond gods
you beyond you
I thought
I alone had fled from you,
but no, you had fled from yourself -
in our findings, you find yourself
god dies when I die,
resurrects when I,
in the wintry tomb, held inside,
between time, together we lie
waiting for our spring
to spring forth into the light
you the most intimate,
voice and song one -
who sings and who is sung
my lamp
never lit
for never gone out
you the farthest away,
fingers reached out from my heart
to pull you near
in the place of the bough you were and are
I miss those simpler days,
do not know what I knew,
for you taught me how to close my eyes
so I could see
many speak - I had heard -
you wanted to be seen
you silence spoke silently,
"all knowings must die, I revealed,
no other than you, until no knowings arise"
but can anyone arise from
such a sun-scorched demise
to blossom anew
one must travel the between
feeling so abandoned -
if I had not known
the loneliness was shared,
could I have survived
until day and dark is the same
and roots and bloom and sky one
you led me here, blessed bough,
and I am lost
unlike those former years of lostness -
blessedly so
the god of my youth has died -
all gods must die -
to see, all light must
vanish into night
I can no longer adore and worship that lovely face,
yet something more lives on in this temporal frame,
moving in and upon, resting upon shoulders
when asleep or awake, watching day and night,
hovering, a dark sun that never ceases to shine
you burnish the solitude,
water the aridity -
you laughter and tears,
flood and drought
if feeling close to you,
you are the feeling and closeness;
if feeling abandoned by you,
you are that, too
you so present, so soft
like skin upon my hands,
one skin you and I,
tender and tendering touch,
no sin, no wrath, heaven or hell,
guilt washed away -
I have met you
who need not pardon,
neither jury nor judge -
your image cannot wear
the slightest of dust
I once held the big black book,
I said, "Thus says the Lord ..."
then, this is now -
the Word remains the Word,
words disembark, books set afire, churches aflame,
Rev. no longer spoken before my name -
new creatures no longer appear the same
spirit's swinging sword does strike lightning-like,
you unsheath,
piercing the night
a little light cheers,
a lot of light wearies,
but you light-giver of light decide -
just let me rest inside the inside
everywhere -
I am satisfied
Goodbye! Goodbye, sweet bough,
I cannot return
and be true to you, to myself, anyone
you never intended to
keep me close, for yourself, for myself,
you held me, loved me to let me go,
leading a leading on
to breathe in a broad space,
an ever-darkening night,
a soot-black abyss
eyes closed, to see the daybreak,
so bright - blessed night! blessed dawn!
still, I miss you -
yet, how I cherish
your absence so!
you are the dark one coming in darkness
inside a ring of fire,
skeleton skull under dancing feet,
merciless in the putting to death,
graceful to enliven again -
bones move to bones, breath breathes to breath,
fertile flesh and cheerful countenance appear
death dies in the valley of death,
so life can be born again
in heaven
here
unity restored, as first, and you live again,
and thus, so do I
in edenic bliss
I die with the dying,
I live with the living,
and you, both
your faces change over time,
face to face, but you not -
god from god you expand,
and I with your every growth
as the circle moves outward to outward
a Jesus free-roaming free,
a Christ found underneath a rock -
how many look
one called Mother Church
captured the Nazareth child,
pooled the blood that flowed,
but in me, not just one, a speck of dust
the world set free, set free,
and the Sunny Son spreads wings again
with my wings
to fly far away,
far but remaining near -
as you always are -
you cannot leave me,
abandoning yourself
one to whom
far and near are the same,
and darkness and light stamped with
the image of the single I
for one moves silently
disguised by disguises,
the heavenly hidden in
the earthy -
spirit breathes inside the soil,
its pulse in the innerness of the air
seeing
through the eyes,
seeking the sought is the seeker,
until sun and sunlight
known as the only one
and every shimmering surface seen aglow
with that radiant depth,
clear and bottomless -
of all things, for each a single life of life,
as each ray the sun of the sun,
and each being a beam of you
reflecting light to light, back to you
the Sun
* * *
(C) brian k wilcox, 2026
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